


Don't Say Yes (Run Away Now)

by RobinsonsWereHere



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Feels, Lies, Reconciliation, Weddings, jules has high standards, lassie has a gun, shawn is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinsonsWereHere/pseuds/RobinsonsWereHere
Summary: Shawn flees Santa Barbara after Juliet learns his secret. Five years later, she's marrying someone else... so of course, he has to crash the wedding.
Relationships: Burton "Gus" Guster & Shawn Spencer, Juliet O'Hara/Original Male Character(s), Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer
Comments: 13
Kudos: 27





	Don't Say Yes (Run Away Now)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AAVasconcelo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAVasconcelo/gifts).



> This fic took me a while, but I think it's some of my best work! Also, you have no idea how many Taylor Swift songs fit this idea, I just stuck with Speak Now for the title because it fits _perfectly._

Shawn left Santa Barbara a long, long time ago.

The night after Lassiter’s wedding, he sits on Gus’ couch in the dark, motionless for almost an hour. He thinks for a long, long time.

He loves Juliet, more than he’s ever loved anyone, except maybe Gus, maybe his parents. But after this, who’s to say Juliet still loves him?

She is a spectacular cop, loyal to her partner, her boss, her city. Shawn is a coward and he thinks watching her choose them over him would break him long before jail did.

Mind made up, he leaves Gus a goodbye note, shoots off a text to his dad, and runs.

\---

He stays in touch with Gus, and noone else. For five years, he returns to his almost nomadic lifestyle, not willing to settle down now that he knows how wrong that can go.

(It does occur to him that he might have gotten a happy ending had he not lied. But he had, and this is the price he pays.)

He’s in Nevada, five and a half years after Lassiter’s wedding, when a chat with Gus reveals something that changes everything.

_”I saw Lassiter the other day,”_ Gus says. _”He was leaving your dad’s place when I got there; I think they were out fishing. Not sure how Lassie has time for fishing, with all the wedding prep, but I don’t know what else they would be doing.”_

Shawn snorts. “Lassie is the son my dad always wanted-- he’s a cop, he actually works hard, he has no sense of humor.”

_”Have you even talked to your dad recently, Shawn?”_

Shifting uncomfortably, he changes the subject. “Hey, what were you saying about a wedding? I thought Lassie and Marlowe were doing pretty good, last I saw…”

_”You haven’t seen them since their wedding, Shawn,”_ Gus says, and even just the mention of the night makes Shawn wince. _”But yeah, they’re doing good; they’ve got two kids and everything. It’s uh… it’s not Lassiter’s wedding.”_

“Well, who else would it be? Lassie doesn’t have any friends,” Shawn scoffs.

There’s a long silence on the other end. An inkling of an idea settles in Shawn’s stomach like a tapeworm. “Gus? You still there?”

_”Uh…”_ another pause; Shawn doesn’t feel like interrupting this one. _”Um, Shawn, don’t do anything rash, but… Juliet is getting married.”_

It hits him like a punch to the stomach.

He has to pull the phone away from his ear from a minute, until he can see straight, can breathe again.

_Jules is getting married._

Shawn closes his eyes against a wave of pain, overwhelmed by memories of a sweet smile and soft golden hair and a laugh that sounded like the sun. He’d been _so close._ He’d had the fucking ring-- still did. But now she was marrying someone else.

Slowly, he picks up the phone again, to a worried stream of Gus still on the other end.

_”Shawn? Are you still there? Are you okay? Remember the part where I asked you not to do anything rash?”_

“Yeah, buddy, I’m still here.”

There’s an audible sigh of relief. _”Okay, okay. Uh… sorry. For just… springing that on you.”_

“You’re fine, Gus.” Shawn just wants this call to end; he needs his phone for other things. _Do I have enough cash for a plane to Santa Barbara?_

_”Are you sure you’re okay?”_

“Peachy.” Shawn swallows, his mouth suddenly dry. “Look, bud, it’s dinner time for me, I’ll call you soon, okay?”

_”Okay…”_ Gus sounds reluctant and concerned, but Shawn ignores it, hanging up the phone.

Another deep breath. A hand through his hair.

Without really thinking, he opens Safari on his phone.

_**Cheap flights NV to CA** _

\---

Gus had been a little surprised by how well Shawn had taken the news of Juliet’s wedding, over the phone. He should’ve known it was too good to be true.

In his defense, he hasn’t seen Shawn in years. He doesn’t have the face-to-face interaction, where Shawn’s smallest movements and microexpressions betray his discomfort.

(But really, that’s not a defense at all. He’s known Shawn for decades. He knows he’s not over Juliet. He shouldn't have said anything about the wedding in the first place.)

At any rate, Gus is not invited to Juliet’s wedding, so the Saturday of the event, for him, is a normal Saturday like any other. He sleeps in until eight, gets up and brushes his teeth, and then, because it’s the weekend, doesn’t change out of his pajamas before heading down to breakfast. He enters his kitchen at 8:09am to find his best friend sitting at his counter, eating his cereal like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“Dude, Raisin Bran, seriously!? Not even Honey Nut Cheerios?”

“Shawn, what the hell are you doing here?” Gus stands shocked in the doorway, wondering if he’s dreaming. He slowly makes his way to the cabinet with his coffee-making materials.

“Well, I was hoping for a decent breakfast,but you have no Froot Loops and no pineapple. C’mon, son, I’ve only been away for a few years!”

Gus angrily shakes coffee grounds into the filter. “It’s been half a decade, Shawn. Seriously, _why are you here?”_

Shawn pouts. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Yes, I am,” Gus sighs, “it’s a relief, actually, to know you’re not dead. But you showing up randomly in my kitchen unannounced is not doing good things for my stress levels.”  
“Alright, alright,” Shawn says, waving an arm like he’s giving in to something. “How do you feel about crashing a wedding?”

“Oh, no,” Gus says, already shaking his head. “Absolutely not, Shawn. Don’t even go there.”

“Come on, buddy,” he pleads. “Let’s do something dumb and risky together, for old times’ sake.”

“Nuh-uh, Shawn! You weren’t here when the department was doing a state-wide manhunt for you. I wasn’t allowed to leave the city, Shawn! ‘Old times’ were not as fun as you make them sound!”

He thinks maybe he’s gone too far when the glimmer in Shawn’s eye dies down and his frown deepens. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry about that, Gus. Look, I-- I have a lot to apologize for, a lot to make up for. I promise that will include buying you as much junk food as you want, but first… first I need to get to that wedding. Because if Jules marries mystery man--”

“I think his name is Jack.”

“I don’t care, buddy. If Jules marries him, that’s it, I’ve lost my chance. I’ve lost the one woman I’ve really truly loved.”

Gus sighs. “I am definitely going to regret this.”

\---

Shawn stands hidden in the back of the church, looking around at the beautiful architecture and the tasteful decorations. It’s an old church, with high ceilings and stone walls and a few stained glass windows. Even without all of the flowers and ribbons, it would still be a great place to get married.

When the bridal march starts playing, he thinks he’s ready.

He’s not ready at all. He hasn’t seen Juliet in years, and now she’s walking down the aisle in a beautiful, lacy wedding dress? He could never be ready.

Shawn’s heart twists in his chest because as goddess-like as she looks, it hurts him that there’s someone else standing at the end of the aisle. Juliet is in love with someone else, enough to marry him. He glares at the tall man with the strawberry blonde hair and the strong jawline. What does he have that Shawn doesn’t?

_He didn’t lie,_ the voice in his head pipes up. _He didn’t run._

Shawn squares his shoulders, slipping further back into his hiding spot. Just a few more minutes, and he’ll be able to correct all of his mistakes.

The minister drones on for what seems like ages, so long that Shawn begins to fidget, though he knows movement could get him caught. Finally, at last, he utters the words Shawn’s been waiting to hear.

“If any of you present are in objection to this marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”

“Don’t do this, Shawn,” Gus whispers from beside him, but Shawn is already stepping forward.

“I object!” he calls out, lifting a hand to catch everyone’s attention, as if the whole room isn’t already turning to face him. He sees a few familiar faces-- the chief’s jaw dropping, Lassie, a groomsman, looking murderous-- but Shawn is only focused on Juliet. At first her expression is one of confusion, but then she sees him, meets his eyes, and it turns to outrage.

“What are you _doing_ here!?”

He hadn’t really thought about what he would do, when he got this far.

“I love you,” he offers.

Lassie steps out of the line of groomsmen, peering around the groom at Juliet. “Want me to shoot him?”

She briefly looks away from Shawn to glare at Lassiter. “I told you not to bring a gun!”

“I _always_ have a gun!”

She sighs and rolls her eyes “No, I don’t-- Shawn, what the _hell?”_

“I’m sorry,” he offers, feeling weak, helpless. “I just… I love you, Jules.” He doesn’t miss how she stiffens at the nickname. “I love you, and I’ve always loved you,and I don’t want to-- I _can’t_ watch you get married to someone else. It’ll kill me.”

She laughs, a harsh, hollow sound, shaking her head. “Oh, that’s rich. You always have to make a scene, don’t you?”

He shakes his head, desperation growing in his chest and making it hard to breathe. “Please, Jules, just give me a chance.”

“I gave you a chance,” she snaps. “Why would I-- why would you-- my wedding, Shawn? Really?”

The one time he needs his voice, it fails him.

Every reason he’d had falls to dust at the look on her face, the stony set to her jaw, the pain in her blue eyes. He opens and closes his mouth wordlessly. “I love you, Jules. I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you, making up for the lies I told. I just… if I get to have you back in my life, that’s worth more than anything in this world.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t…”

Shawn watches, _everyone_ watches, with baited breath. Juliet looks from him to her almost-husband, then down at the ground, shaking her head again. “I can’t do this.”

His heart stops. _What?_

“I’m not saying yes to you, you understand,” she tells him, her eyes a bit wide. “I’m not-- I can’t say yes to either of you right now.” She looks at her fiance but Shawn can tell she’s not meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

And then, as Shawn watches, as _everyone_ watches, she sweeps back down the aisle and vanishes into the dark, twisting hallways of the church.

\---

Juliet doesn’t know what she’s doing, where she’s going, if she even should’ve left the ceremony in the first place.

_You just left the man you love at the altar._

She’s pretty sure she feels the floaty layers of her dress tear as she takes a sharp turn through the stone hallways. She doesn’t know where she’s going, she’s all alone in these empty halls, except she’s not, because there are ghosts at every turn.

_Falling in love with you was never part of the plan,_ Shawn’s voice whispers in her ear. She takes another blind turn.

_I told you so,_ says Carlton’s voice this time, and it’s another punch to the stomach, because he’d been right, right all along, from the very beginning. These wounds are so old, they had healed, at least, healed _enough,_ but on what should be the best day of her life, Shawn Spencer has returned, and he’s ruined it.

Juliet collapses against a wall, slumping, staring out the window as grey clouds begin to smother the sunlight and the clear blue sky.

_Falling in love with you was never part of the plan._

_Never part of the plan._

_None of this was ever part of the plan._

She grabs the windowsill, taking deep breaths. She’s trying to calm herself down, but with every inhale, she feels even more like she’s going to cry. 

Footsteps sound behind her, and she slumps even more. Of course someone had followed her; she ran out of her own goddamn wedding.

“Juliet,” Shawn calls, like he’s a few feet away and doesn’t want to come closer.

Now she stiffens, her spine straightening and her grip getting even tighter on the windowsill. “Shawn.” A deep breath, because she won’t let herself cry in front of him, and then she slowly turns to face the lost love of her life. “Shawn,” she says tightly, “do you _know_ what you just _ruined?”_

“I’m sorry,” he says, like that can somehow fix everything. “Jules, I’m so, so sorry, you have no idea, just let me-- god, I have so much to make up for.”

She stares at him for a long moment. “Some damage can’t be undone.”

“I know,” he says weakly, shaking his head. “God, Jules, I know. And as much-- as much as this hurts me, I can’t blame you for wanting something _better,_ god knows you deserve better than me. Hell, I wouldn’t blame you if you walked right past me and married that guy now. But Jules-- Juliet-- I love you, and I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to own up to my mistakes, but you deserve an explanation.”

Juliet honestly doesn’t know what to say; she doesn’t know how to handle any of this. “I deserved an explanation five years ago.”

“You’re right, of course you’re right,” Shawn says, almost mumbling. “But I was scared-- no, I was a coward. I was too much of a coward to do the right thing.”

For the first time, Juliet turns fully to face him, folding her arms over her chest. “‘The right thing’ would’ve been to not _lie_ in the first place, Shawn.”

He nods, and swallows, and slowly takes a few more steps toward her. Even if she weren’t already against the wall, she’s not sure she would back away.

“I know,” he says softly. “I _know.”_ he stares up at her beseechingly. “But there was _so much_ happening and it all got out of control so fast… don’t I at least deserve a chance to explain myself?”

“If you did,” she says coldly, “you lost it four and a half years ago.”

“Alright.” Shawn nods slowly, his expression closing off, resigned. “Just-- just tell me one thing?”

This reminds her too much of that fateful afternoon in Canada, and yet still, even knowing how that had ended, she finds herself nodding. “What?”

“Would you really have left all that back there, if you didn’t still have feelings for me?”

Juliet freezes, her blood turning to ice in her veins.

“Shawn, you _lied.”_

“Can I try to explain?”

“No! You _ran,_ Shawn! You lied and you ran and you didn’t even try to fix it!”

“I didn’t know how, Jules! God, I still don’t! And I am so, so sorry because leaving you has been tearing me apart for the last five years but I _didn’t know what else to do.”_

“You know what you could’ve done?” Juliet pushes off of the window, moving toward Shawn. He looks vaguely uncomfortable, like he might move away. “You could’ve _told me._ I don’t care how far in over your head you were, Shawn, god, we loved each other! If you had just-- just _trusted_ me, trusted me enough to tell me the truth, we could’ve worked something out! This might not have ended in me falling to pieces and you running from the world! We might not have lost each other.” Her voice breaks and she looks away, blinking back the hot tears that sting her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I know I sound like a broken record, but I swear to god I’ll tell you that every day for the next twelve years, for every day I lied to you and every day I was gone.”

Juliet shakes her head, looking at the ground. “Even… even if I did let you back into my life, how could I be sure you wouldn’t run again? When things got hard, or just didn’t go the way you wanted…”

Before she even finishes her sentence, Juliet is startled by Shawn suddenly surging closer, his hands coming up to cup her face. Before she can react his mouth is on hers, and it’s a yearning, passionate kiss, going on far longer than it should, and the worst part is, Juliet isn’t doing a thing to stop it.

In fact, she’s very much an active participant.

When they finally break apart, Shawn doesn’t let go of her, and they continue to hold each other close. Juliet tries to get her head on straight but cannot manage to take a deep breath.

“Jules,” Shawn breathes, “if you ever gave me the chance to be part of your life again, I would literally die before I took so much as one step away.”

It’s an outlandish claim, exaggerated hyperbole, just like the Shawn she remembers. And yet… she’s still eye to eye with him, she can feel his heartbeat under her fingers, and she can see that he means what he says. For once, he is telling the truth.

Juliet has spent _years_ trying to move on from Shawn. Even after she’d met Jack, she hadn’t gone on a date for months, thanks to the still-open wounds Shawn had left her with. She’d only gotten to this point, where she is content and happy and not thinking of him every goddamn day, by reminding herself of three things.

Shawn had never really loved her.

He had _left_ without any sort of explanation.

He was never coming back.

And now, all three of those facts have been disproven. Shawn even seems to want to explain his lie. He’s trying to be better, trying to fix what had broken so long ago. And if both of them had held onto their love for each other…

Where does that leave Juliet?

“Shawn…” she says, though she doesn’t really know what she wants to say, “Shawn, it’s not that simple. I can’t just-- leave my fiance because you’re suddenly back in town. I mean-- I-- do you even know how much time and money I’ve sunk into this wedding?”

He winces. “A lot?”

“Mhm.” As the dizziness from the kiss fades, Juliet finds herself coming back to the real world, with logic and obligations and a tangled, painful history. “What you did today was not okay, Shawn.”

He looks sheepish. “Jules, I couldn’t… I didn’t have any other option. Gus told me you were getting married and I got here as soon as I could… I don’t know what I would do without you, Juliet.”

“Maybe the same thing you’ve been doing for the past five years?” She folds her arms. “Even if you just got into town today, you could’ve found me before the ceremony-- I know you know how to get places you’re not supposed to be. You didn’t have to make a scene.”

“Jules, when, in all the time you’ve known me, have I passed up the chance to make a scene?”

She resists the urge to drop her head into her hands. “When, in all the time I’ve known you, have you told me the truth about anything?”

He reaches out, tucking a few curls that have escaped her updo behind her ear. “Every damn time I told you I loved you.”

“I remember the first time you said it,” she says quietly.

Shawn nods slowly. “The Towne case… when the ex tried to threaten us off. I was just lying awake, and all I could see was those pictures of you, and all I could think was that if I didn’t say it and then something happened, I would never forgive myself…”

Juliet is silent for a moment, wondering. _Does he really only count that as the first time? Does he even remember?_

“Shawn,” she says, after a pause, “that’s not what I was talking about.”

He frowns at her, looking confused.

“You were hooked up to the polygraph machine,” she says, and the instant understanding in his eyes tells her he _does_ remember. “It was practically a dream come true, I mean, undeniable proof that you meant what you said. I didn’t even care that you weren’t really _ready,_ because when you said you loved me, that green line didn’t waver. But that’s not the only thing you said that night, Shawn.”

He stares silently at her, and she watches him, unblinking, unyielding, not doing a damn thing to make him less uncomfortable. “You told us all you were psychic,” she says finally, her words quiet but heavy. “You lied, and the polygraph didn’t catch it. So really, Shawn, can you really blame me for not believing a word you say?”

“No,” he says bluntly. “I’m not asking you too-- well, I guess I am. I’m just asking for a chance, Jules. You don’t have to trust me now, but can you wait long enough on the wedding to make a decision on if I am trustworthy, after all?”

“Let me gets this straight.” Juliet takes a breath. “You’re asking me to undo everything I’ve spent five years doing, break down everything I’ve fixed, reopen every wound that might finally be healed, just to give you a _chance?”_

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Shawn straightens, puffing up a bit. “If you have to ask that, then forget it. I’ll just go back to Vegas.”

“Because you love me.” Juliet hates that her chest still feels warm when he tells her that.

“No.” Shawn takes her hand, his hazel eyes staring into hers. “Because _you_ love _me.”_

“Do I?”

“Do you?”

She looks down, to where his hand holds hers. Her engagement ring still glitters on her finger. Slowly, she takes her hand out of his. Shawn slumps, but she doesn’t say a word, only slips the ring off her finger. Finally, she looks up at him, a little sad, a little hopeful, and wary most of all. “I never stopped.”

Shawn nods, a familiar, loveable grin spreading over his face. “Good,” he says,laughing a little. “That’s good, Jules. I never stopped, either.”

Juliet tucks her hair behind her ear. “This doesn’t fix everything, you know,” she warns. “We need a lot more than just love, if-- if we’re going to make a start, rebuilding what we had. I can try to trust you, but you have to try, too.”

Shawn doesn’t say anything, only steps forward and wraps her in a long, comforting hug. “I know, Jules,” he whispers. “I’m ready to try. And look-- we’ve already made a start.”

There’s a hell of a lot more that has to happen now. There’s a whole wedding out there waiting for her, to end it all or to get back up to the altar. The conversation with Jack is going to be hard.

But for right now, Juliet closes her eyes, smiles, and melts into Shawn’s warm embrace.

It’s been five years. She deserves to enjoy it, just a little.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! I enjoy comments and kudos and you can find me on tumblr at nursebarbarahereward!


End file.
